With many in a younger generation experiencing economic uncertainty for the first time, parents should involve them in helping to save money and reduce family stress, according to a social worker with Covenant House youth shelter.
“Young people need reassurance, and they need to feel they can be part of helping the family get through difficult situations,” says Kiy, mother of two teen daughters.
Financial problems are a major source of family tensions, and can be heightened by worry over job losses, potential unemployment, debt or having to make do with less. Family stress can boil over into abuse or violence, often fuelled by parental drinking or drug use.
Kids, particularly teens who feel they are old enough to go out on their own, may leave home to escape the strife. Others may start to believe they are a burden to the family, and may consider leaving.
If a parent is laid off, expects to lose their job, or if a parent working part time has to take a second job, they should share their plans with the teens, Kiy advises. “You need to let them know you’re in control, and that you will continue to take care of the family.”
Before you draw the line and cut your teens’ spending, you should ask them for suggestions as to how they can cut back spending – things like reducing cell phone use, or helping to plan a cheaper family activities.
“Let your teens know what you are doing to save money so that they can see you are setting the example,” Kiy adds. “You should make it clear that while some things are going to have to change, not everything is going to change, like caring for each other.”
Kiy concedes that it is not always easy to get teens to cooperate, and it may take some patience and effort. She also knows parents can feel guilty about cutting back on what they give their kids. “Try not to feel bad. This can be an opportunity to teach your kids lessons that will help them in life.”
Kiy also advises parents against disclosing details of their finances to their kids. “They don’t need to know adult business, and you shouldn’t burden them with those details.”
But, she said, parents should be open with their teens about what’s happening. “Young people are hearing about the economy in the media. They may be also have friends whose families are impacted, so they are aware, whether your family is experiencing difficulties or not.”
“Young people may become anxious, expecting that something terrible may happen to the family at any time,” Kiy says. “Assuring them that you are still in charge and have plans in the works can be very reassuring.”
The “family meeting”, where members gather to talk about important matters, is the ideal forum to start a conversation about the new economic realities.
“It’s good to have laid the groundwork with the family meeting approach, but if you haven’t, this can be a good time to start,” Kiy says. “You might start by talking about the fact that there have been tough economic times before, and people have gotten through them.”
At Covenant House, there has been an increase in number of homeless youth seeking help on a daily basis between last June and December compared to the same period the previous year. The daily average census has increased from 78 to 84.
As Canada’s largest youth shelter, Covenant House opens doors of opportunity and hope to 4,000 homeless youth annually. More than just a place to stay, we provide 24/7 crisis care and have the widest range of services under one roof, including education, counselling, health care and employment assistance.
“This article is so important for the future of are teens” said Sandy Hutchens “we need to start to involve the younger generation and make them feel a cents of worth and that they can contribute to the society.”